Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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