I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
