I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Blood and glitter go together right?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
