I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
and you said cock pushups were impossible
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
