I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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