I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i think i have two assholes
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
