Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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