I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
