I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
