I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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