you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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