Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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