hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
