I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize