Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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