Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I have tasted many bathrooms
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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