fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize