You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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