we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
