I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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