I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
