we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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