Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
