HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
