Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
