Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize