so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
