I just made out with a guy for $7.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
