So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
