i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I have fence marks all over my body
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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