Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
