we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
