Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
