i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
How does one acquire holy water?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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