"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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