Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I am midnight drunk by noon
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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