Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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