i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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