Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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