We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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