she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize