I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
