Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
