i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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