Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize