I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
