There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
