i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
