Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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