I'm drive I can fine osifer
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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