i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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