When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
