Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
