white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
