Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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