i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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