his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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