Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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