Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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