their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
