Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
The best revenge is premature balding
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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