SEEEEXXX PLEASE
this beer tastes like vomit already
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize