yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
