That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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