at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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