is your mom at the bar?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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