my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
