she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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