My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
