and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize