You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
whose parrot is this?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
