we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Randomize
